Conflict resolution guidelines
PART OF THE QUORUM SENSE COMMUNITY HANDBOOK
(adapted from the Enspiral Handbook)
Last updated: 2 Feb 2023
Quorum Sense values the people and the relationships that make up our inspiring, changemaking community. We collectively strive to foster an increasingly open, inclusive and caring culture.
In this document you will find three suggested steps to take to safely and appropriately resolve conflict. Also included are support mechanisms if you need additional input to help resolve the conflict.
Note: If you feel unsafe within the Quorum Sense Community Forum or at a Quorum Sense event, please e-mail contact@quorumsense.org.nz immediately. For more information on Quorum Sense's stance on harassment and abuse, visit the Harassment and abuse protocols page.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, contact local law enforcement.
We ask all users of the Quorum Sense Community Forum and attendees at Quorum Sense events to recognise these guidelines as an option for resolving conflict.
Possible steps to resolving conflict
If you are in conflict with someone else consider taking these three steps:
Step 1 - Contemplate the conflict you're experiencing
Take time to process experiences if you feel confused, overwhelmed or agitated.
Note uncertainties and possible misunderstandings in your interactions, including cultural differences.
Distinguish people's actions from your feelings about them. They're both important, but they're different.
Distinguish disagreement from personal hostility. We're allowed to disagree, dissent and discuss.
If you've contemplated the experience and have decided it feels like it may be harassment or abuse, please consult our Harassment and abuse protocols page.
Step 2 - Invite conversation
If step 1 has not resolved the issue for you, invite conversation with the other person or persons involved as soon as possible. If you don't feel able to do this, please email contact@quorumsense.org.nz detailing your concerns.
When contacting the other person or persons, aim to:
Ensure a mutually agreeable time and place for conversation (online or in person as is appropriate), including adequate privacy.
Give prior consideration to your communication approach.
Discuss your concerns clearly, openly and as objectively as you can.
Make it clear how the actions you've experienced have made you feel.
Keep emotions in check whenever possible.
Develop a plan (see Step 3 below).
Step 3 - Develop and implement a plan
When in conversation, use the following tips to help navigate the process of developing a plan to move towards resolution.
Foster inclusive dialogue by sharing ideas, asking clarifying questions, and responding to others' ideas, including:
Identification of personal wants and needs.
Making offers or requests.
In complex conflicts, develop points of agreement to facilitate progress.
Propose plans to treat conflict in a mutually satisfactory way.
Mutually sign written plans in serious cases, or whenever desired.
Agree a future time at which you will meet again to review progress.
Step 4 - Evaluate success
At the agreed time, evaluate progress against the plan that was developed. If you are not satisfied with the progress made, consider what elements of the conflict remain unresolved and why that might be the case.
Your options at this point include:
Re-entering dialogue with the person or persons involved to attempt resolution based on any additional understand or perspectives you have (repeat steps 2-4).
If you feel that continuing this process on your own will not bring resolution, you might seek support or help from others (see 'Enlisting more support' below).
Bring the issue to the attention of Quorum Sense by emailing contact@quorumsense.org.nz with details of your concerns and the steps you have taken to attempt resolution.
Enlisting more support
The time to escalate is when you've been trying to work at one level and you reach an impasse, both parties unable to compromise in any way.
For example, if you have a 1-1 conversation with reasonable, clear asks which become unmet requests, it would be at this point you might consider bringing a third party in to mediate.
There are four levels you might consider to reach a resolution, each step includes more people. The point is to resolve the conflict with as few people involved as possible.
Level 1 - Direct communication
Directly discuss your concerns with a conflicting person if you're comfortable doing that.
Level 2 - Private support
Talk privately to individuals you know within the network or trusted friends to help you resolve conflicts with other Quorum Sense Community Platform users. Make a plan together about what you're going to do.
Level 3 - Expanded dialogue
You may seek to informally resolve the conflict by discussing it with a group of mutually trusted Quorum Sense Community Platform users. This may be done either confidentially or openly.
Level 4 - Mediation
For intense conflicts, individuals using the Quorum Sense Community Forum or attending a Quorum Sense event may request mediation meetings which are assigned to trained, external mediators.
In such instances, Quorum Sense expects that:
It is the responsibility of the parties involved to select and appoint a mediator.
The mediator is suitably qualified.
Costs incurred will be negotiated directly with the people involved.
Contacting Quorum Sense
If you have any concerns regarding the options outlined in this page, please Quorum Sense directly using the contact@quorumsense.org.nz email.